“I’ma break you.”
That’s what he said. Just as casual as pass the salt. His voice didn’t raise or lower. There was nothing more there than the subtle strength of truth found in promises you know a man intends to keep.
Never being 1 to back away from a challenge, my back straightened. Ready in my mind to be fully present to…get broke. He knew that about me, that I don’t back down easy. As much shit as I’ve talked over the years, all of it true, he knew I wouldn’t run, tail tucked. As a matter of fact, he had to know that I’d raise my tail higher so he didn’t have to work so hard to find it.
Too much time had gone by to waste any on preliminaries. Every time we see each other is another edition in our foreplay. Our friendship has always been very serious to us, but there was always time for play. He makes me laugh like none other and he never leaves feeling unloved. The words didn’t fall from his lips as easily as mine, but there’s never been any doubt in my mind or the minds of any who know how we roll.
With all that history, there’s no need to front. And what a history it’s been. The 1st time came together when our lives were changing. Never in the same place, the dream of being together never took shape. Ours was the genuine love of youth, untainted by a tray of hearts served broken with bitterness in jade bowls as side dishes. Still, it wasn’t meant to be and we quickly accepted our roles in each other’s lives. The usual happened and more people were added to our lives and relationships started to get more serious. My heart was already wide open to him, despite any other players in this life game, but he’d always noted how my legs never spread as wide. I began to think I owed him this before he moved on. My heart wasn’t in it though his body came prepared to do everything but come. Damn near a decade of unspent liquid emotion couldn’t find the exit that night. Needless to say, it wasn’t a day that inspired bragging rights from either of us.
I don’t know if love or ego brought us back together, but one-day opportunity knocked again. The power of the mind fuck was as heavy as the bass in the southern club we rocked and bounced in. Sexy dripped in the air like the sweat down the backs of the hardcore dancers. He made a power play, unbeknownst to him, in effort to prank me. He soon found out that it could be more than that if he was willing to bop away from the throngs of club goers back to a more private setting. The only problem that night was his bed had no posts. I was ready to turn tricks, turned on by what I knew his girl wouldn’t do, and knowing he’d be turned out by the time I was done. All I wanted was to leave my stamp on his ass, let the next 1 know I’d been there, even if she never found out who I was, and that she’d better step her game up. I play hard. Come strong. And leave the door unlocked if so moved.
That night, I thought I’d left a challenge for any subsequent SHE’s to enter the scene. What I didn’t know was that it was HE who picked up the challenge and he came, years later to check mate my ass. So he came to break me.
And I gladly picked up my face afterwards, feverishly rewarded for years of patience and the inability to close my heart to this cat. I hadn’t really tried. There was no need, I always remain open to those who can find the key.